How Real Men Handle Criticism
If you have never been criticized, then you have never been in a position of leadership or made a decision that impacts someone else. Criticism is the readiest tool in the hand of followers. But it’s not just followers who criticize. Sometimes, even people who have no stake in an issue gladly lend their words when they feel like it.
The real man is a natural-born leader even though he is slow to come forward and take up the mantle. When he does he is pretty good at it. But how does he handle criticism? We have four ways for you.
One, silence.
Remember that the real man is introverted. He is a man who is slow to respond with words and when he does, he speaks so little. So when he is criticized, he listens and decides two things. Firstly, is the criticism fair? If yes, he keeps silent as he doesn’t see any reason to argue with the truth.
Secondly, is the criticism unfair? If yes, he maintains his silence because if the critic is willfully blind, replying him won’t change anything; if he is ignorant, the sigma will ignore him as he is no one’s teacher and he would rather dedicate his time to working than correcting every Harry or Jones who loses his way into a matter they have little comprehension about.
Two, more work.
The more a real man is criticized, the harder he works. But this is only true if he feels the criticism is justified. Otherwise, he continues on the path he has been on. This is where you begin to see the real man work more hours, bring work home, and block all social activities.
No, this is not to say that the real man is reactive. He isn’t. He doesn’t respond to every single criticism that comes his way as it is really impossible to keep track of them all. So what he does is to take this criticism in a sum and deal with them or respond to that rare eye-opening criticism. And this eye-opening criticism doesn’t always come from a highly placed person.
The fact that you are the boss or a famous critic or an authority in the field doesn’t make you special in the eyes of a real man. Remember, he is a man that is not malleable to the whims of society. He doesn’t do tribes and he doesn’t bow to kings. So whatever criticism comes his way, he still gives it the sigma test – is it justified or not.
Three, he strategizes.
Sometimes, the real man does not need more work to change things around when criticism opens his eyes to the situation. Actually, criticism only confirms what he already suspects. So he takes action.
This is when you will see him change the messaging of the product or move the factory closer to the raw material or add a new product or removes/swaps key staffer or turn everyone into a marketer as Elon Musk did when his electric car brand Tesla couldn’t sell enough vehicles to keep them in business.
Finally, walks away.
Unlike the alpha male, the real man is not a sucker for power. He has what he takes to lead but he doesn’t consider himself a ruler. Most of the time, he is pushed by people or circumstances or his conscience to lead. So when the criticism starts coming and they are mostly from unfair positions, he takes time to reconsider and asks himself, where does this all end?
If the system is workable and he sees a pathway to success, he continues to push. Otherwise, he walks away as there is no reason to waste his energy and time on a lost cause for which he is heavily and unfairly criticized.
This is not to say that the real man is a quitter. He isn’t. He is not power-drunk and does not see why he should continue to hold on when he is not appreciated for his genuine effort and there is little chance of a turnaround. He respects himself too much to become a punching bag of the circus. And since he is no career leader, it is easy for him to fall back on his original purpose.
Recall that the real man is pushed to take power by (i) the people so when the people turn against him it is easy to leave, living the words of an ancient sage: “Saving someone who does not want to be saved is as good as murdering them”; by (ii) his conscience and he now that he has offered himself and he is rebuffed by the people or the system or both, he leaves with a clear conscience; by (iii) circumstances – if the circumstance that brought him to power turn against him, he leaves rather than fight a lost battle.
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